Friday, January 9, 2015

Thank you for the support #JeSuisCharlie #CharlieHebdo

I feel so happy about all the support.

Here is what I found on Twitter from celebrities, including some of my favorites (Lee Pace, Richard Armitage, Elijah Wood... Arthur Darvill <3 ...)  Guys... thank you. Thank you.

I don't have the time or energy to browse Twitter to add to the list. But if you have a celeb that you like and follow that has tweeted about this, please send them to me @akaruikibuno .

Sunday, December 21, 2014


I was the good friend for so long. 

You know the one. The one who listens. The shoulder to cry on. The one that comes over when you don't feel well. The one that gives you any money she has left despite knowing full well she might need it later because you're in a tight spot. Yeah, I'm that kind of person. And I think I will forever be.

Except for one teeny tiny little detail. I didn't start growing some kind of confidence until I was 18. I felt gross, I felt fat, I felt nothing nice would ever happen. I met a new nice friends, I became addicted to computers and met a few others (and kept meeting them along the way).

But I was still that good friend. That one who tries to give you advice. Even when sometimes you might not be asking for it (and I learnt how to stop that because even I could go too far at times). 

I guess this attitude has its limits though. You open yourself to help, to save, to be there. You open yourself up so much that you forget you even exist. Usually, that means you also become somewhat of an enabler. You exist because you help, and you just can't be left without anyone to help. You forget you can be your own person. You keep to your bubble when you're alone, you have a hard time finishing anything because there's always someone to save out there.

Guess what ? While it can be hard, this endless cycle of forgetting who you are can end. There were triggers for me. I can't say I'm completely repaired yet, but boy have those triggers helped me. Those triggers are actually people. People who have shown me they don't need to use me to appreciate me. People who have shown me they just... like me. Some wanted me... sometimes it was my body, but my body needed those triggers too. 

I can't say I won't be the good friend anymore. After all, that's in my nature. However, whoever wants to be my friend will have to assume responsibility for their choices.

I will hold your hand.
I will listen.
I will be there.
I will tell you you're an idiot when you're being an idiot.
I will praise you when you do something awesome.
I will mourn with you should you lose someone.
I will suffer with you when you get hurt.
And there's a lot more where that comes from, except I can't just write it all out here (it would take a while, I suppose) .

I'm just hoping you're ready to do some of the same for me.

I don't want to be shut down when I start talking to you.
I don't want to be mocked because some things I like are silly.
I don't want to be made to feel guilty for being sick or unavailable.

I want to understand you, I want to know you, I want to respect you.

If you feel you can do the same, I'm all ears, and I'm pretty sure we can get along just fine.

Just a warning though: I'm still pretty darn nuts, and I won't hesitate to show it. So... good luck ? And also : welcome to my world.

Thursday, November 20, 2014

VIDEO SCRIPT - 50 Random Facts Tag

So, this is a "new" thing, but bear with me :D .

I have decided to make more Youtube videos, and after starting to follow fellow Youtuber Rikky Poynter, I have decided to provide either CC (closed caption) or full transcripts of my videos. Due to the nature of my first video for this system, it will be a full transcript.

Video here :

Thursday, May 22, 2014

The best compliment one could ever pay me

Hi everyone! Yup, I'm back... sorta. The itch to write is always around, but making time to compose my thoughts and arrange them in a semi coherent manner has proven to be quite difficult. Oh well ;)

I was thinking today about compliments and things people have told me, and I think today I just found the one that kinda touched me the most. See, I've been told I am nice, beautiful, "delicious" (but the context was, ahem, particular) , and many other nice things. But these words were about who I am, either in body or in personality. So while I love hearing people tell me how much they like me (even when they don't, since having diverse opinions is good) ... it's not everything. Okay, I'll admit it, there were two exceptions: a friend told me I was a precious gift to him and my partner told me he still loved me at a difficult time and it made me cry, but you get the general idea :) .

Now there is something else I'm told quite often. It's about my English. Last time it happened, I was in a meeting with new people and we were talking in English the whole time because we were from many different places. At some point, I mention how long I have been studying English (about 17-18 years now) and a very nice Italian lady's eyes go wide and she tells me "Wait... you're FRENCH ?" , which made me smile.

Sometimes, it does sound like I brag. I'll admit it: sometimes, I do, but that's mostly because that's what I'm the most confident in. And that's my work. That's something I learnt to do. That's not something I can't control, and given the amount of work I've put in over the years in... err... things, let's just say I'm proud I managed to get to this level. 

It's so little and so big at the same time. But it means a lot. 

So to anyone who ever read/heard me and told me I have a pretty good grasp of English: THANK YOU. You have helped restore my broken confidence, and you have made me stronger because of it all.

Saturday, January 25, 2014

2014, brand new year, brand new life ?

Ha, how funny can life be at times...

I just moved. It was necessary, it took a while, but I found a place (and they accepted my application!) that I am trying to settle in. Well, trying being the key word here as it seems I'm so clueless that I forgot... the blankets. Yeah. Thank Goodness Mom is probably coming over in a bit to bring me a blanket. I don't care if the rest takes time, but hehhh...

Work is still work. I'm not surprised by things anymore even though it can still sting sometimes.

There's a part of me that's growing, too. Moving is proving to be quite the experience, and while I had moved before, it was never in my own apartment... aaaah.

Have a good 2014, everyone :D !